Given to You Page 2

  In his fury, he grabbed her by the throat, pushed her against the wall and lifted her off the ground. She searched his eyes, hoping to see a glimpse of humanity, but only saw a dark abyss. Why hadn’t she noticed this before? This is what a killer looked like. His soul was dead, so he had no qualms about taking the life of another human being. He would give no thought to killing her.

  “I thought we had an understanding,” he said, squeezing her throat tightly. “Look what you are making me do? Damn it, Kate. I have plans for us. Why can’t you understand that?”

  He loosened his grip and Kate fell to the floor, gasping for air. She was on her hands and knees before him.

  “I...I’m…I’m so sorry, Roger. I don’t know what got into me. You’re right,” she said. “We belong together. I see that now. Please take me to the cabin. I want us to be alone.”

  Her only hope was that she sounded sincere and that he believed her. She didn’t want to die on the filthy bathroom floor.

  Kate began to stand up and he grabbed a hold of her, pulling her body close to his. Roger’s hands glided down her back, finding her ass and she could feel his desire for her straining in his pants. He looked her in the eyes and said, “Prove to me that you want me.”

  Kate parted her lips and stood up on her tip toes. She put her hands around Roger’s neck and guided his head toward her mouth uttering, “I want you, Roger.” Her lips reached his and she began kissing him passionately while he picked her up and wrapped her legs around his hips. He pushed her against the wall again, and began thrusting himself against her.

  Kate broke away from the kiss and looked Roger in the eyes. “I really want you, but Jacob is waiting for us outside and any stranger could start a conversation with him and take him or hurt him,” she said. “We really should get back to him.”

  Kissing her neck, he said, “I know, but I want to fuck you so badly right now. I want to feel your wet pussy wrapped around my cock, taking everything I want to give you. I want to fuck you over and over until you forget everything and everyone. God, you make me so hot and so damned mad at the same time.”

  Kate’s heart was racing at Roger’s declaration, and in that moment, she assumed that he was going to rape her right there against the bathroom wall.

  “But you are right,” he continued. “If anything happened to Jacob, I’d never forgive myself.”

  Roger put Kate down, took her by the arm and led her to the car where Jacob was waiting in the backseat. Whispering in her ear he said, “If you pull another stunt like that again, I will turn around and go straight to the penthouse on Prospect Avenue. I’ll make you watch him die and it will be a very painful death. Is that what you want?”

  Kate shook her head. Tears spilled down her cheeks and her lips quivered. She had to take the threat to Neil seriously and she had to gain Roger’s trust. So far, she was failing miserably and had only managed to piss him off, although he had seemed pleased when she kissed him in the bathroom. Her stomach gripped with anxiety and revulsion as she imagined all the things she would probably have to do, to appease this monster. She wanted to spit in his face, scratch his dark, evil eyes from his head.

  Roger put her into the car and zip tied her again before getting back in.

  “Dad, can we get the ingredients to make s’mores?” Jacob asked.

  “We’ll see how late it is when we get there,” Roger said. “I did bring some leftovers from Thanksgiving. We might wait and go to the grocery store tomorrow.”

  “Okay.”

  Roger thought for a moment. “Actually, we do need to stop. We’ll need to pick something up for breakfast.”

  “Awesome!” Jacob cried out.

  Kate envied Jacob’s innocence and complete unawareness that anything in the universe could be wrong.

  “He’s such a good boy. You and Paulina have done a great job raising him,” Kate said, hoping to reconnect with Roger emotionally. She didn’t want him to be angry with her and she couldn’t think of anything else to talk about at that moment. She hoped that his love for Jacob, and her praise of his son, would lesson his anger toward her.

  “Yes, he is a good boy. He’s never caused a moment’s trouble.”

  “You and Paulina must be very proud of him.”

  Roger looked at Jacob in his rearview mirror to see him immersed in his video game again. He then glanced at Kate. “I am very proud of my son. Paulina was too.”

  Kate noticed that Roger spoke of Paulina in the past tense just like he had when he mentioned Rick. She wanted to cry for the woman who wouldn’t get to see her son grow up. Why would Roger take his child’s mother away from him? He either felt threatened by Paulina or the monster inside of him had grown so powerful that Roger was no longer in control. She grieved for the little boy in the backseat, who was now motherless and destined to be raised by a serial killer. She wanted to cry for herself as she realized that her fate most likely would be the same as Paulina’s, unless her brilliant boyfriend found her in time, or she figured out a way to escape. The chances of him finding her grew smaller with each passing minute.

  “I didn’t know that you own a cabin in Big Bear,” Kate said, probing for information to determine if there was any possibility of Neil finding her. The property would be listed on the background report that Neil had done.

  “I don’t,” he said. “My sister Joyce does. She gave me a set of keys years ago. She only likes to come up in the summer, so no one will be there right now. We’ll have the place all to ourselves for months.”

  “Great,” Kate said with all of the enthusiasm she could muster. She would never be found. Escape was her only feasible option.

  “Are you and Joyce close? She sounds like a good sister.”

  “You could say that we are close,” Roger said. “I visit her from time to time, but she doesn’t drive since her accident, so she doesn’t make it down to our neck of the woods very often. In fact, I don’t think she really comes up to the cabin much anymore. It’s hard for her to get around.”

  Kate saw the sign for the Big Bear exit and felt an overwhelming sense of doom cover her like a blanket. They were getting close. Her anxiety level began to spike again, and her breathing became ragged. It was like she was on a rollercoaster approaching the top, just about to plunge to the bottom.

  “What kind of accident did she have?” she asked with a breathy voice. She needed to take some deep breaths before she hyperventilated.

  “She had a car accident. It is difficult for her to turn her head and walking is painful because of her spinal injuries,” Roger said. “Her doctors worked really hard to get her to where she is. She’s had fifteen surgeries over the past few years. It was quite an ordeal so she stays home for the most part. I think she even gets her groceries delivered.”

  Kate didn’t ask any more questions. She didn’t want to know any more. She just wanted to be with Neil. As they began to make their way up the mountain, her heart rate continued to beat like galloping horses. She watched the trees out the window, knowing that as they passed each one, she was getting farther and farther away from freedom and closer to having to fulfill Roger’s desires, like the one she had previewed in the bathroom. Despair weighed heavily on her brow as she gazed out the window. She hoped that the cabin wasn’t too remote so she would have a chance to escape at some point. The winter weather would make escaping hazardous. She wasn’t dressed for the chilly temperatures of the mountains.

  Chapter 2

  Kate stared out the window aimlessly, reviewing her life. The landscape became a blur as she relived scenes from her childhood. Did she have any regrets? Her dad came to mind, but she didn’t focus on their broken relationship. She remembered her dad taking her and Eric to church when she was a little girl. He would go to the service and she would go with the children to Sunday school. She pictured the bulletin board with the felt cut-outs of biblical figures like Jesus. As a child, she had absolute faith in Jesus and God, but life had kicked her around some and she had lost her f
aith somewhere along the way. According to the people who spoke at her father’s funeral, he had never lost his faith. His advice to her now would be to pray and trust in the Lord. She closed her eyes to concentrate and pray.

  Lord, I know that I haven’t prayed to You for a long time. Losing David broke me to the depths of my being and I blamed You for taking him away. But whether You did or didn’t isn’t for me to judge. You are the Creator of the universe and I know that You are in control. I desperately need Your help right now. You have blessed me abundantly with Neil’s love and I pray that you will help him to find me. Please spare me from what lies ahead with Roger. Only You know what is in his heart. Please don’t let me be his next victim. I put my trust in You, Lord. Amen.

  Kate opened her eyes and continued to stare blankly out the window as she pondered her life. She thought of her mom next. She wouldn’t be able to reconcile with her mom and she deeply regretted not calling her yesterday when Neil had suggested it. Even though their relationship was strained, she still loved her mom and wouldn’t want her to feel bad if they didn’t make amends before she died. She knew how powerful guilt could be because it had devoured her for years until she finally faced it and realized that she hadn’t caused David’s accident. He could have pulled over to answer her text. If he hadn’t died, she’d be with him right now and she never would have met Roger—or Neil for that matter. The turn of events in her life was beyond her comprehension.

  She decided to make small talk with Jacob in an attempt to think about something else.

  “So, Jacob, do you like to go fishing?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I’ve never gone fishing.”

  “Oh, well, maybe we can go sometime. I used to love going fishing with my dad when I was a little girl,” she said. “It would be fun for the three of us to go.”

  “Yeah, Dad. Can we go fishing?”

  “I think that can be arranged,” Roger said, glancing over at Kate with a smile on his face. “I’m sure we’ll find lots of fun things to do with Kate.”

  Roger’s eyes darkened. He reached over and placed his hand on her thigh, letting his fingers wander just a little too close to her sex. It was so unnerving that Kate wanted to open the car door and throw herself down the mountain. She couldn’t bear that he was touching her. How would she handle being intimate with him? Having his body on top of her while he thrust inside her? It was sickening, but also inevitable. She knew she better get used to the idea because she couldn’t imagine that she was going to talk Roger out of having sex with her.

  “So what’s the plan when we get up to the cabin?” she asked Roger, putting her hand on top of his.

  “Well, I thought we’d unpack, have dinner, and get to bed early. I’m sure Jacob will be tired. He usually turns in early. Then we can have some alone time,” he said, rubbing her thigh suggestively.

  Knowing what “alone time” meant, she couldn’t respond. Her words were stuck at the back of her throat.

  “Don’t you want us to be alone, Kate?” Roger asked, his brow furrowed.

  “Of course,” she said. Those were the only words her mouth could form. “I just want to be modest in front of…” and she motioned her head toward Jacob.

  “Oh, that’s very thoughtful of you. He’s probably not really listening to us. When he plays his game he gets lost in a world of his own. That’s how kids are. They have the ability to tune everything else out. I can have him put on his headphones if you like. He won’t hear a thing.”

  Kate nodded and Roger asked Jacob to put on his headphones.

  “I wish we were alone right now,” he said. “I can’t wait for us to finally be together. I have so many fantasies for us to fulfill.”

  Kate was speechless. She looked over and smiled. He moved his hand between her legs and rubbed her for a moment. She closed her eyes, hoping that if she didn’t see what he was doing then maybe it wasn’t happening. She was revolted by his actions and hated her body for betraying her by responding to his touch.

  Roger removed his hand and softly said, “That’s a preview of things to come.”

  Kate nodded and relaxed her face so Roger wouldn’t see her true feelings.

  “I have to tell you, baby, that I knew we would be together from the minute I heard your voice on the phone when you called about the apartment,” he said. “Your voice stirred me deep down and I hadn’t experienced that before. I can’t explain it. I just knew that I was going to like you and then, when I saw you, something really clicked in me. My desire for you overwhelmed me and I began making plans for us to be together. Do you understand what I am saying?”

  “I think so,” Kate murmured.

  “The minute I saw you at my doorstep, that was it. I was in love with you. I knew I had to have you, all of you, no matter what it took. Everything I have done since then has been for us to be together. Tonight is going to be better than anything I could ever imagine.”

  Kate sat there quietly.

  “You are looking forward to tonight, aren’t you?” Roger asked with a tense tone.

  “Being held tight to you with a syringe at my throat, doesn’t really stir my libido, plus the pain in my wrist, hip and shoulder…it’s not really creating a ‘mood,’ Roger,” Kate said, finding her strength again.

  Roger didn’t say anything at first. He exhaled loudly. “Based on your behavior at the gas station I was right to be prepared. You are going to find that I am very good at anticipating what people are going to do. All of the domestic abuse reports I did in the military made me an expert in human behavior.”

  Kate had forgotten about his military training, but now it made sense that he could take down Porter. She continued to talk to him like she would any other friend. “Well, you told Jacob that I’m your girlfriend, but being zip tied to the door doesn’t make me feel like your girlfriend. I feel like your hostage. If you want me to desire being with you, maybe you need to stop treating me this way.”

  Roger’s jaw tightened. “Kate, like I said earlier, things are going to go my way now. Once we get to the cabin you won’t be tied up anymore. Maybe that will enhance your mood.” Kate left it at that. She didn’t want to push him too hard, but she sure as hell was going to stand up for herself.

  They were now officially in Big Bear. Kate had no idea that it was such a populated area. They pulled into a shopping center with a supermarket. Roger reached over and opened the glove compartment. He took out a pen and a pad of paper to make a grocery list.

  “Let’s see,” he said. “We need the fixings for s’mores and everyday items for breakfast. We’ll just get the necessities. We can come back in a few days for more supplies.”

  He reached over and cut the zip tie. “Please don’t disappoint me again. We’re together now and nothing else matters,” he said, digging his fingers into her thigh.

  “I completely agree. I have no reason to get anyone’s attention. I’ve accepted your offer for us to be together but I would appreciate you treating me like you did when I lived next door, and not like a prisoner.”

  “Okay. Let’s start over. I will treat you like my girlfriend and you will not cause any more problems.”

  “Jacob, we’re going in for groceries. Please put the video game down.”

  Jacob did as he was told and they all got out of the car. Roger held Kate’s hand as they approached the store. He took a grocery cart and released her hand. She stayed close to him in an attempt to prove herself.

  Kate had made a mental list of some things that she was going to need. “Roger, if it’s okay, I’m going to need a few items from the feminine aisle. Could we go there first so I don’t forget?” she asked.

  “Sure.”

  As they walked down the aisle, Kate picked up Midol, and also found a pack of Tums, which she desperately needed, not from anything that she ate, but from her physical reaction to Roger’s suggestiveness. Kate reached for condoms, but Roger assured her that he had that covered. She picked up a toothbrush, but he told her he h
ad packed some necessities for her. She didn’t need to worry about the basics.

  She made eye contact with a few people, but she didn’t try to talk to anyone. She was too afraid that he might kill an innocent bystander. Anything was possible with his current frame of mind.

  They went through the rest of the store rather quickly. Jacob was focused on finding the ingredients he needed for his tasty campfire treat. When they checked out at the cash register, Kate realized that this might be the last time she saw other people. Her world was about to become microscopic, consisting of only Roger and Jacob.

  Ten minutes later, Roger pulled up in front of the cabin. Just as Kate had feared, the cabin was very secluded without any neighboring houses, and wasn’t visible from the main road. The trees did an excellent job of camouflaging this hide-a-way. Escaping would mean taking the car or wandering aimlessly in the woods until she found someone to help her. But what if Roger found her first? Roaming through the woods alone didn’t seem like the smartest idea, but she would have to be brave and try. Roger would most likely be very careful initially, expecting her to attempt to flee. If she did the unexpected and stayed relaxed, maybe he would begin to trust her. She wondered how long that would take and how well she could pretend. She would get the lay of the land and go from there.

  Roger reached over and kissed her on the lips. “We’re here, baby,” he said, smelling her hair and nipping at her earlobe. “You smell so delicious. I can’t wait to have you all to myself later. I’ll make sure Jacob gets to bed early tonight.”

  Roger hadn’t tied her to the car and he had been kinder in the store. Now it was time for her to hold up her end of the bargain. “I must admit that I’m looking forward to later too,” she said, looking him in the eyes. His eyes searched hers to see if she was telling the truth. She decided to sell her words by sealing them with a kiss. Putting her hands on Roger’s face she pulled him into her, kissing him, and imagining he was Neil. Roger’s hand found her waist and moved up her ribs.