Given to You Read online

  Neil began to think about what Kate had in her favor. He had to change his focus before he went out of his mind with homicidal thoughts. The little boy. Wilkins had his son with him and Kate would be using that fact to keep him at bay—hopefully. Children needed time and attention, so he would have to be patient until Jacob went to sleep. This was good. Plus his girl was smart. She could match him wit for wit, so she’d be able to think on her feet with Wilkins. Even though part of him wanted to put Wilkins in the ground, he knew upholding the law was what he was sworn to do. That didn’t mean he could give the psycho the beating of his life.

  He called Paul to give him the address and tell him to get his team on the road. Being the closest to Big Bear, he planned on getting there before the team and the police. Paul’s team, being not far behind him, would be his backup. As he wanted the first crack at Wilkins, he decided his call to Jameson would be made when he was closer to the cabin. He figured he had the upper hand, since Wilkins had no idea of his knowledge of the cabin, and he was going to take that madman down himself, like he should have done to begin with. No one was going to hurt his woman.

  Neil hoped he was only about two hours or less behind them, but it felt like twenty-four. Hold on baby, I’m coming. That bastard won’t know what hit him. God, please keep Kate safe until I get there.

  Chapter 6

  “Before it gets too late, there is something I have to take care of,” Roger said looking at Kate.

  “Oh, okay,” she said.

  “I know that we are getting closer and I want to trust you, but I can’t just yet,” Roger said as he stood up. He held his hand out to Kate and she took it, rising to meet him. He led her to the bathroom and put the seat down on the toilet. Kate looked up at him bewildered. “I want you to sit right there. You’re going to stay in here while I go out for a little while.”

  “Roger, I can just stay with Jacob.”

  “No, I’m not comfortable with you having access to whatever you want. I haven’t forgotten the stunt you pulled at the gas station earlier. I’m not one hundred percent convinced that you won’t run away. Trust takes time to earn and you cracked mine a little bit earlier today. Now, put your hands together.”

  “Roger, you know this goes both ways now don’t you?”

  A look of frustration crossed his face and he thought for a moment, but continued anyway.

  “Well, it has to be done this way.”

  Roger put a zip tie around her wrists and pulled it tightly. He took out another zip tie and secured it around her ankles. He then wrapped a bandana around her eyes and put ear plugs in her ears. He took one ear plug out and said, “I’ll be back very soon and we can have our alone time. I have put a lock on the outside of the bathroom and Jacob will have his headphones on, so don’t bother screaming for him. He won’t hear you.” Then he put the ear plug back in and shut the door behind him.

  Roger made his way back to the living room. “Kate is taking a shower. Please don’t disturb her,” he instructed Jacob. “Can you please put on your headphones and play your game while I go out for a few minutes, okay buddy?”

  “Okay, Dad. Can we have s’mores when you get back?” Jacob asked.

  “Of course, buddy, as soon as I get back.”

  Jacob put on his headphones as Roger strolled toward the door. He went to the car and began making his way to Big Bear Lake. It was dark enough to take care of the “loose ends” in the back of his Explorer.

  Roger knew that if anyone saw him he would have a big problem on his hands. Ideally, he would have done this in the middle of the night, but since it was the dead of winter, he figured there was a slim chance anyone would see him. As he didn’t want to have the noise of a motor which would draw unnecessary attention, all he needed was a row boat. He parked his car and surveyed the area. After a moment, he honed in on a boat with the oars lying across the bench seat. People were so trusting, he thought.

  Returning swiftly to his Explorer, he opened the trunk and took out one of the garbage bags. Paulina was petite, so it wasn’t very heavy. He walked down the dock and placed the bag in the boat, and continued until all the bags were out of his car. The journey began slowly, but before long he had entered deep waters. This was the perfect place to dump her body. He couldn’t understand why he hadn’t thought of it before, but he would be certain to remember for the next time. As perfect as Kate was for him, would he at some point need to dispose of her too? He couldn’t see that happening. She was his perfect fit, his completion. But, she is so beautiful. Maybe, he will just need to remember this for any other men who try to interfere with our business.

  When he had rowed out far enough, he pushed the first bag over the edge and watched it disappear in to the dark water. He decided to dump the second bag in a different location on the way back. That wasn’t really necessary because he had taken measures to make sure Paulina’s remains were unidentifiable, but you could never be too careful. The parts that could identify her were stored safely at his place. He’d have to find another hiding place at some point.

  His foster mother had taught him to be very cautious. Mark was the first kill that he hadn’t planned out in detail. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. If he hadn’t taken action, Mark might have ended up with Kate. His Kate. He knew he should have eliminated Neil as well. It might have been a mistake to let him live, but there was no way that Neil was going to find them. No one knew about the cabin, although he regretted telling his sister he was staying there. Her call had caught him off guard. But what were the chances that Neil or the cops had tracked her down? Slim to none.

  After Roger tied the boat to the dock, he looked around to see if anyone was watching him. As far as he could see, he was completely alone. Mission accomplished. He really didn’t want to be bothered with discarding a bystander who happened to see him in the boat. After all, his luscious Kate was waiting for him.

  ***

  Kate sat there crying on the toilet set, waiting for Roger to return. She didn’t even try to make a sound or get out. She knew that would be wasted energy. He was incredibly thorough in all that he did, and wouldn’t have left any possible way for her to get out. Her biggest fear was that he had decided to drive to San Diego to kill Neil. She took a little comfort in the knowledge that Neil wasn’t at home since he had a special night planned for them. At least for now her skin wasn’t crawling with the touch of his hands on her. His hands roaming her body felt like a violation. When she actually had to have sex with him, she didn’t know how she was going to do it. More tears rolled down her cheeks. What if she cried during…? What would he do? Even though he had gone to such extremes, he wanted her to want him. Psycho. There was no way in hell she could pretend that convincingly. She couldn’t imagine what would make him believe she wanted him, especially after tying her up yet again, and then while he was doing things to her. She felt ill.

  Their conversation whirled around in her mind. At so many points she felt sick to her stomach just being in Roger’s presence. His foster mother was one revolting woman. Roger, seeing what she had done to his mother, had steered his life on a path that he couldn’t come back from. If this was what he was sharing, what was he not saying? How dark were his secrets? Kate gulped back some air and attempted to remain calm even though she felt bilious, like she had ingested something spoiled. In her mind, she was running from the cabin screaming for help at the top of her lungs. Would his confessions from his childhood make him cherish her or resent her for glimpsing his horror?

  After what seemed like an eternity, Roger opened the door and removed her blindfold. Kate looked at her watch while Roger removed the zip tie from around her ankles and realized he had only been gone about an hour. She knew that wasn’t enough time to find Neil and kill him. Relief washed over her body like waves crashing on the shoreline. Neil was safe and she still had hope of reuniting with him.

  Roger cut the zip tie, freeing her hands. She rubbed her wrists, which were red from the ties cutting into her but sh
e didn’t say anything about it, unsure how he would react. She had to focus on staying calm with him, keep her reactions to a minimal. It had been working so far, kind of. He watched her every movement and seemed to search her face to gain access to her thoughts. This must have been what her childhood had been training her for. Her opinions, thoughts, feelings, were never acknowledged by either of her parents. They were both too consumed with themselves to realize that they were making their daughter into a robot. She had spent so much time with Dr. Cox working through guilt and overcoming David’s death, that she hadn’t divulged to him how she often felt like a Barbie doll, who was to be seen and not heard. Being this way had many negative consequences, but in this situation, it could save her life.

  Kate removed the ear plugs. She finally had the use of all of her senses again.

  Roger held his hand out and helped her up. He guided her back to the living room, where Jacob was still entranced by his game. Kate envied Jacob in that moment. He didn’t have impending doom hanging over his sweet little head. He was a content child playing his game without a care in the world. Exactly the way it should be.

  “Dad, can we make the s’mores now?”

  “Sure, buddy,” Roger said. “Kate and I will get all of the ingredients. Just give us a minute.”

  Kate had left the marshmallows, chocolate, and Graham Crackers on the counter. She began opening the packages while Roger took out a plate. She put enough on the plate for Roger and his son to make two each. Roger placed his hand on the small of her back and whispered in her ear, “As soon as he goes to sleep, we’ll get to be together. That’s all I’ve been able to think about.”

  Apparently, he wanted her to feel the same anticipation that he felt.

  Roger looked happy making s’mores with his son. Kate watched them in astonishment. How could Roger be so tender with his child, yet such a brutal killer? It didn’t add up, but nothing about this situation did. Thankfully, Jacob was an unintentional buffer, because without him, Roger would have undoubtedly already…she didn’t even want to think it, smoothing her hands on her face. Anything else other than impending doom? Unsought attention, grievous woe, dreadful, uninvited interest…would soon come full circle…would soon be a reality… .

  Prolonging it was all she could hope for.

  “Miss Kate, aren’t you going to have some s’mores?” Jacob asked. “They’re delicious.”

  “Oh, not tonight. I have an upset tummy,” she said. “Maybe I’ll have some with you tomorrow. I’m going to finish cleaning up the kitchen.”

  “Okay.”

  While Kate was washing the dishes, Roger got up and entered the kitchen. He nonchalantly took a juice box out of the fridge and went into the bedroom. He came out of the bedroom and handed the juice box to his son. “Here you go, Jacob. Why don’t you have some juice to wash down the s’mores.”

  Jacob took the juice and began sucking it into his mouth.

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  Kate couldn’t help but notice him watching as his son’s eyelids began to droop. He took the juice out of Jacob’s hand, laid him down on the sofa and then he got a blanket out from the bench seat in the dining area. He covered his son with it and kissed him on the forehead. It seemed strange to Kate that after having so much sugar, Jacob had fallen asleep almost instantly. How was that possible? Kate furrowed her brow and remembered that Roger had taken the juice into the bedroom. Had he drugged his own son? Is that what was in the syringe he threatened me with earlier? Fury rose up in her as she wanted to defend Jacob. Her motherly instincts kicked in and she looked forward to the day that Jacob would be out of Roger’s life. She was bound and determined to make that happen as soon as humanly possible.

  Roger came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He kissed her on the neck and then nuzzled her hair.

  “Everything’s cleaned up,” she said, trying not to sound angry.

  “He sure did fall asleep quickly.”

  “Yeah, it’s been a big day for him.”

  “It’s just so early and he had so much sugar. I didn’t expect him to…” Kate couldn’t finish her thought. She could feel Roger’s hot breath on her neck followed by his kisses.

  “He’s always been one to fall asleep early and rise early.”

  “I was thinking it would be nice to have another glass of wine,” Kate said, hoping to be released from Roger’s arms. “Would you like another glass?”

  “Sure,” he replied, a little testily.

  Wine was a must for Kate to get through what was about to happen. She wanted her senses dulled. Roger didn’t seem to have an issue with her drinking more wine; maybe he knew it would make her more acquiescent.

  Kate brought two glasses of chardonnay into the living room, handing one to Roger. She saw that Jacob was taking up most of the sofa, so she sat on the chair. Roger sat on the sofa and they were quiet for a long moment, both sipping their wine as they contemplated what was next.

  “Are we close to the lake?” she asked.

  “We’re not really within walking distance,” he said. “I always drive to get there.”

  “Do you come up here often?”

  “I do during the summer, but I haven’t been up here in the winter for a long time. I had forgotten how cold it can be. I’m glad that the bed has an electric blanket.”

  Kate nodded and said, “That’s good.”

  By the pained look on Roger’s face, Kate could tell that this small talk was killing him. She knew he wanted to get their evening started. He had told her many times throughout the day, reminding her every chance he got, showing her with his hands at every opportunity. He had plans, and she was certain they didn’t include her being so far away from him. Getting up he took her empty wine glass, and took it with his into the kitchen. When he returned to the living room, he held his hand out to her yet again, this time to start moving her toward the bedroom and inevitably his bed. Dread overcame her, and she was so repulsed that she actually looked down expecting to see a thousand spiders crawling all over her body. Her body shook, and she felt as though she was going to be violently ill, as she silently went to the bedroom with this vile man.

  Time was up and talking him out of this, it seemed, wasn’t going to happen. It would only infuriate him and she knew she didn’t want to see the Roger from the gas station bathroom.

  “Well, it’s just us,” he said, drawing her body to his once again. “I packed some things that I thought you might need. The bag is on the bed. Why don’t you make yourself more comfortable?”

  Roger’s eyes glistened with lustful desire. Kate opened the bag to find lingerie along with a pair of jeans and knit tops. It was clear he knew her size and had packed more lingerie than clothing. She recognized her own bra and thong amongst the other lingerie. So that’s what had happened. She had looked for those items several times and had been perplexed by their disappearance. A sickening feeling came over her. Roger had been in her apartment. Had he come in while she was sleeping? On more than one occasion she had woken during the night and felt a mysterious presence. Now she knew it wasn’t just a feeling—it was the dark presence of Roger watching her. Once again, she found herself feeling nauseas.

  “I’d love to take a shower if that’s okay,” she responded, thinking that after this revelation, ten showers wouldn’t be enough because, despite being beautifully pampered just that morning, Roger had rubbed off the dreamy and replaced it with disgusting.

  “Absolutely. You take a shower and I’ll be getting things ready for us. Just don’t take too long,” he said.

  He escorted her to the bathroom and turned on the light. “I’d join you,” he said, “but I’m sure you’ve already noticed this is probably the smallest bathroom ever made. I can hardly fit in the shower.

  “I’ll be waiting for you, getting the bed warmed up,” he added.

  Kate nodded. “Did you bring a robe for me by chance?” she asked.

  “Yes.” Roger grabbed it from the ba
g on the bed and handed it to Kate.

  “Great. Thank you,” she said as she began closing the door behind her. She wasn’t up for him watching her disrobe. He would be seeing her naked body soon enough.

  Kate stood there staring into the mirror. She wished this was a bad dream that she could wake up from. Unfortunately, this nightmare was real. She wrapped her arms around herself and breathed in deeply. The knock on the door startled her.

  “Yes?” she replied.

  “I have the bag of toiletries for you that you left on the bed.”

  She opened the door and took the bag from Roger. “It’s just the basics—a toothbrush, tooth paste, facial soap, dental floss, and a brush for your hair. I went to the beauty supply store to get the right brush for you. I wanted to make sure you had everything you would need.”

  “Thank you. It’s very thoughtful,” she said, taking the bag from him, and trying desperately not to cry.

  “I think you’ll find that I am a very thoughtful guy. The electric blanket on the bed, is getting it nice and toasty for us, Kate.”

  Kate offered a polite smile. What could she say? She wanted to tell him that the thought of his hands on her body was repulsive, but she didn’t dare. She wanted to tell him that she thought he was a monster. She wanted to scream at him to leave her alone. She wanted to grab Jacob and run as far away from Roger possible. She wanted to be found. She just wanted to go home. To Neil.

  “Well, I better get in the shower,” she said, beginning to close the door again, hoping he didn’t hear the tremor in her voice.

  “One more thing, baby. I’d like you to wear this when you come to bed,” he said handing her the bra and thong that he had taken from her apartment during one of his nighttime visits.

  “Okay,” she said and closed the door. She tried to lock the door, but it didn’t have one on the inside, only the outside. Roger could burst in at any time.

  She put the lid of the toilet down and sat on it, beginning to sob quietly, knowing that the chances of being rescued before what she knew would be next, were close to zero. He had gone out of his way to orchestrate all of this, to have her fulfill all of his vile fantasies.